This is an insert that our family prepared for the talent show program. It was written to honor Cailean and inform people about Neurological Lyme Disease.

HEART AND SOUL TALENT SHOW
APRIL 2, 2005

Cailean Walker Sheeran embraced life, family and friends with his Heart and Soul until Neurological Lyme Disease shattered his spirit. Thank you for sharing in this evening dedicated to his treasured memory.

Thanks to a wonderful friend, Patty Scecina, for
dedicating this concert and the song ?Yellow? to
Cailean. Our hearts and souls are touched by all of her efforts, as well as those of all the students and adults who contributed so much time and work to this show.

We would like to take this opportunity to express
appreciation to Alex, Charlie, Daniel, Ryan, and Woody who originated the idea of compiling a compact disc of Cailean?s original music and songs he loved. They worked very hard on this project; ?Sharing Sheeran? is the terrific result. Listening to this CD will be a wonderful way to preserve and honor Cailean?s musical talent. Proceeds from donations received will be sent to Dr. Brian Fallon at the N.Y. Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia Medical Center to be used for research for the diagnosis and treatment of ?Neuro-Lyme?.

If you would like to read or write about our wonderful son and brother, please visit
www.mariel.slowburn.net/cailean/

NEUROLOGICAL LYME DISEASE

Soon after Cailean died we stated that, when time and emotions would allow, we would commit ourselves to spreading public awareness of a most serious, but relatively unknown illness, Neurological Lyme Disease.

According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders, most individuals with Lyme disease respond well to antibiotics and have full recovery. In a few patients symptoms of persisting infection may continue or recur. Varying degrees of permanent joint or nervous system damage may develop in patients with
late chronic Lyme disease. ?Neuro-Lyme? disease can result in devastating psychological implications. Dr. Fallon?s research on Chronic Lyme has shown that while short term (three to ten week) IV antibiotic treatment will initially help these patients, neural indicators usually relapse within three months. (He is planning on releasing the results of the main portion of his research in September 2005.) In rare cases, some individuals may die from Lyme disease and its
complications. We hope that scientific studies will
eventually result in a successful treatment program so that no other child and family will suffer the consequences of this horrific illness.

Please refer to

http://www.lymeinfo.net/neuropsych.html

for additional information/links.

The annual arrival of spring each year will be bittersweet for us. It normally is a glorious sign of rebirth: not this year. Last Tuesday morning, on my way to West Point, I noticed that Quicky and Quacky (two ducks that John named who come back to our pond in early spring each year) had returned once more. At the same time, I remembered a similar moment last year. Cailean and I were driving down to get a bacon and egg sandwich for him one morning before I went off to school. He was very honored to proclaim that Quicky and Quacky had come back once again. I was surprised to see how two sweet and silly ducks could make me cry so hard this year.

Easter was not a very big holiday for Cailean. However, he would always have a sly smile on his face when I would announce that I had to go Easter Bunny shopping. He appreciated the Peeps and new clothes he would receive. I continue to mentally pick out clothes he would like whenever I’m in the Gap etc.. He did like to dress well and was very particular about his outfits!

We just returned from a trip to Austin, Texas. It’s the place that John probably considers Heaven on Earth and a city Cailean experienced several times during his brief life. While there I found a poem that I felt was appropriate for us. It was written by artist/poet Brian Andreas. It was written for another boy who died far before his time:

“Landscape of the Heart”

“It is still so new & all we see is
the empty space,
but that is not how it is in
the landscape of the heart.
There,
there is no empty space
& and he still laughs
& grapples
with ideas & plans
& nods wisely
with each of us
in turn.

We are proud to have known him.
We are proud to have called him friend.”

We are proud to have called him son, brother….

Happy Easter, Cailean. Love forever and ever..Mom

I awoke this morning, and as always, Cailean was the first thought of my day. Realizing that it was Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a fitting time to honor Cailean’s memory by sharing some of the sentiments friends have written about our son/brother. Here are some more kind and comforting words we have received:
– so many people here so earth loved him so much
– grateful for all the laughs and for him being such a sweet and talented person
– brightened so many peoples’ days
– such a wonderful person who always made people smile
– kept smiles on so many peoples’ faces
– Cailean’s memory will live on in everyone whose life he had touched
– will always have a special place in our hearts and will always remember how his earlobes turned beet red when called on in class
– an Eric Clapton in the making
– so lucky to have had him in our lives
– his sweet, genuine smile
– his wonderful guitar playing at Eighth Grade Graduation and how happy he was that night
– such a sweet, sweet boy
– cute, shy “Godzilla loving” pal
– an exceptional person
– a bright, funny, and talented member of the Garrison community-
– a special person whose music was exceptional
– what a talented musician
– always had a wave and a smile for us

Happy Valentine’s Day, Cailean. Love forever, Mom

“Heart and Soul”, this year’s annual talent show for Philipstown teenagers, is scheduled to be held at 7:00 PM at the Garrison School on Saturday, April 2, 2005. As noted in our local newspaper, “The show will be dedicated to Cailean Sheeran, former Garrison student, musician, and friend to many”.

The show will be directed by our wonderful friend, Patty Scecina, and will feature a special song to be sung for Cailean. Ticket proceeds will be donated to UNICEF for the Tsunami Relief Effort. Proceeds from refreshments served at intermission, a fifty/fifty raffle, and (hopefully) sales and/or orders taken for a CD of Cailean’s music – songs he wrote and played, as well as songs he loved, – will be donated to Neurological Lyme Disease research and Young Concert Artists Inc.

A number of Cailean’s friends are already aware of the show and are planning on participating in various ways. If you are interested in performing (even singing in the background on his special song), helping backstage, or assisting with the raffle and CD sales, please email me ( mesheeran@yahoo.com).
This should be a touching evening for honoring Cailean’s wonderful memory. As always, thank you for your comfort, support and interest. Maureen

Merry Christmas Cailean. We miss you very much. You pictures are all around our house and your memory is always in our heart. Take good care of your grandparents up there with you and of course Susie.

Diane Travis and family

Merry first Christmas in heaven K, I know your in a better place even though I can?t see you face, I love ya kid
Alex

Merry Christmas Buddy, I love you. It wouldn’t have been Christmas without a present for you under the tree this morning. I named a star in your memory, “Cailean Walker, Our Buddy.” That star shines for you and it always will. I’ll scan in the costellation map so everyone can see where it is.
Dex loves you too and gets so excited when he sees a picture of his uncle KK.

At this very sad holiday time, I thought I would offer some words of comfort to those who visit this site. They are words that give me some solace and I hope they will help you as well. — Always remember that Cailean is still with us and is watching over us. Most important, he is truly happy. Warm wishes to all with thanks for your comfort and support. Maureen

I have been meaning to express some further thoughts on Cailean as we near the year end and it?s holidays. It is hard to believe that he has been gone 7 months. And yet I wave to him everyday as I pass through the living room. I have discovered that everything in my life has been diminished by his absence, especially the good things. going to a nice restaurant is going without him; watching a movie is watching without him; going to Boston is going without him. The fact that he did not witness the Red Sox beat the Yankees or see the Pistons humiliate the Lakers with me is unthinkable. The idea of playing tennis without him simply does not exist.

About a week after his funeral, I was watching tv with Brittany when i changed the channel to a John Wayne movie called ?THE COWBOYS.? I had seen it a number of times and even liked it but I rarely discussed it or even thought of it because the Duke is sadistically killed by Bruce Dern which is contrary to the laws of nature, or at least my laws of nature. Anyway, we watched the dying scene where John Wayne revives himself just enough to declare to the young cowboys gathered around him ?every man wants to know that his son grows up to be a better person than his father was?..? I was very lucky to witness that moment because I realized that Cailean had achieved that goal for his father.

Yesterday it occurred to me that he and my father might meet in the ?afterlife”. I imagined them walking down a road in Ireland looking for the village where my father?s grandparents had been born. After Ireland, they would travel to Spicewood, Texas in order to visit Poodie?s Hilltop because my hero Billy Joe Shaver would be playing on New Year?s Eve. Billy Joe would invite Cailean on stage and he would be introduced to Eddy Shaver?s spirit. Together they would play guitar. Afterwards, Eddy invited my father and son to travel to Waco, Texas in order to visit the graves of his mother and Grandmother. Cailean would say yes but only if Eddy would agree to join them later as they traveled to Loch Sheldrake, N.Y. That is where his parents and his two sisters had spent their summers in the early 1980?s, unknowingly preparing for the arrival of their future son and brother, the person who would complete the family circle and in turn become the center of their universe: Cailean Walker Sheeran? the best ?BUDDY? there ever was. Thank you Cailean for blessing our lives. with love, John Sheeran. 12/15/2004

This holiday season is upon us and it will be a most
difficult one. Halloween even proved to be quite
emotional; I recalled Cailean’s delight in picking
his costumes ( Do you remember Ghostbuster, the
Jeffersonville fireman, Larry Byrd, Dracula, and the
many forms of aliens/monsters? ) and his enjoyment of
Trick or Treating.

It is unfathomable to believe that we have been
without Cailean for over half a year. I have to
believe that he is watching over us and sending us
signs to comfort us. He is indeed a presence every
minute of every day.

During this Thanksgiving week we would like to take
this opportunity to express our appreciation for:

* family and friends who have reached out to
comfort us with words of comfort and support, prayers,
invitations, and efforts to make us smile. We thank Mariel
and Matt for creating this website as a forum to read
and write about Cailean.

* the memories we have of Cailean – his sly smile,
clever wit, musical talent and love of music, kindred
spirit, his love and quiet appreciation of family,
friends, and holiday traditions

* the legacy Cailean left behind. No matter who I
talk to there are common comments that people make
about our son and brother – that he was very kind,
friendly, talented and funny. I’m sure that he is very
pleased with this description. As his parent, I
couldn’t be prouder.

We cherish every moment we had with Cailean – he was a
special person who touched many with his love, charm,
and unique personality.

Its been six months now since Cailean passed away and the fact that we’ll never get to see his smiling face, listen to him jam on his guitar, or just have him there to goof off with sets in more and more each day. I am not a religious person at all, but I do believe that there are ‘angels’ on this Earth that you meet in everyday life. They always manage to put a smile on your face even in the darkest of times and it always feels good to be around them. Cailean always had that effect on me and still now just the thought of him makes my hardest days seem that much easier to take. I have so many memories and such affection for him that putting up this website seemed like something I had to do for myself to get through the loss of my brother and to make sure the memory of him is passed on. When it started, I thought the website would just be someplace I could go when I needed to remember Cailean, not really imagining that so many other s would come and visit. I am glad that so many of you have come to look at pictures and read about Cailean. Thank you to those that have posted their own thoughts and memories–every one has touched me and my entire family. I hope to reorganize the entire site some time in the near future and if anyone needs help posting please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me. mariel@slowburn.net

We have received a number of letters which make us even prouder of our son. I thought we would share some kind words various people have written about Cailean.
The first letter is from a woman I have never met. It means a lot because it shows that Cailean was still able to be thoughtful to others even when he was in deep crisis – this event took place the beginning of this year.

Dear Mr. and Mrs Sheeran,

I had heard about the terrible tragedy that had occurred to your son. I had also heard that you lived not too far from us but I still did not recognize the family name. It wasn’t until I saw his photo in the local paper that I realized I knew this boy. My son, James (7), had spent a chunk of the summer last year at Cailean’s tennis camp. They must have gotten along pretty well but I learned this only later. James and I were down at the health club on the basketball court last winter. I spotted Cailean on the other half of the court shooting baskets with some big boys. I pointed him out to James and asked him whether he recognized the big boy. He trotted over to Cailean’s court and waited in the corner for the right moment to greet him. His stray ball happened to come James’ way a few moments later. James bounced it back to him and when Cailean recognized who had helped him, he called out my son’s name accompanied by the widest and warmest smile humanly possible. His reaction made my son ( and his mamma ) feel very good.

This is a small, and maybe silly, anecdote about how your son touched our lives, but I wanted to share it with you. Both my husband and I are very sorry to hear about your loss.

Sincerely,
F.N.S.

Cailean’s first guitar teacher wrote from a small town in France where he and his wife moved last year.

“……….The Cailean I knew was a keen musician who loved music in many forms, an industrious student who also managed a charming self deprecatory humor. He is remembered, here, in this isolated mountain village with great affection…… P.B. and P.M.

Young Concert Artists, Inc. recently sent us a copy of a letter that was submitted to them along with a generous donation from a man whom Cailean did not know. I know the family through Garrison School. This letter echoes several other statements that have been made concerning how well Cailean treated, not only his peers, but also those younger than him.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

“In the spring of 2004, a young man named Cailean Walker Sheeran who lived in Garrison, New York, and was a friend of my 16 year old son, died tragically and unexpectedly.

Garrison is a small community and most of the children of school age know one another pretty well. Cailean’s was the first death of a contemporary that most of them had encountered and the grief which ensued has been predictably devastating.

Although neither my wife nor I knew Cailean, we have learned from our son that he was a friendly, outgoing seventeen year old who was generous with the attention he gave to younger school mates, who could always be counted on to inject humor into any gathering and who was a very talented guitarist.

I don’t know what relationship Cailean Sheeran had with you organization but I understand that the Sheeran family has designated Young Concert Artists as a fitting recipient of memorial contributions in Cailean’s name. My wife, son, and I would like to join those who have chosen to remember Cailean in this way and hope that you will accept the enclosed check in that spirit….”

Sincerely,
B.T.N.

We have more and will add to these as time and emotions allow. – to be continued – Remember to remember Cailean with a smile. – Maureen

As I work on the therapeutic task of writing
hundreds of thank you notes, I find that I am
increasingly saddened by the fact that I did not
deliver a loving eulogy to Cailean at his funeral. At
that point I was not capable of expressing my feelings
in words. I?m quite sure that our beloved son and
brother heard the beautiful sentiments written by his
sisters, the musical tribute offered by his father,
and the heart-warming stories delivered by friends.
He must have been touched by the outpouring of love
from all those in attendance.

It gives us some solace to know that our son and
brother celebrated his short life to its fullest
before being struck with Neurological Lyme disease. We
have so many photographs and memories of the gentle,
sweet, and funny Cailean we all knew and loved so
much.

It is now time for me to communicate how valiantly
Cailean faced his horrendous illness. The last two
years of high school should be happy and hectic ones.
His peers experienced the normal joys and challenges
? dating, going to dances, proms and parties,
?hanging out? with friends, participating in sports,
driving, working, taking the SATS, conducting college
searches and making the final selection, and having
hopeful dreams for the future.

Sadly, that was not Cailean?s experience. He found
that he could not handle an academic setting and was
tutored at home as the disease took over his life. He
looked forward to going out with his friends, but
these events also became more and more stressful for
him as time progressed. He endured numerous doctor
visits, invasive procedures and taking many
medications, some with terrible side effects. Yet, he
rarely complained – even when a catheter line was
inserted into his arm and he had to have daily
intravenous infusions for over a month. Of course,
there were some very difficult and challenging days
that we faced as well. For the most part, though,
Cailean tolerated his condition and increasing
isolation. He had hopes of returning to school,
dating, driving, working, spending time with family
and friends, and eventually going off to college in
Massachusetts.

Alas, that was not to be. This posting has allowed me
to convey how noble Cailean was in the last months of
his life. It was an honor to be his mother and I will
always be so proud of how brave and wonderful he was.
They say that time heals. So far time has been
increasingly painful. Cailean is my first thought in
the morning, my last at night and most of the
countless moments in between. Family, friends and work
have helped distract us from our agony at times, but
our lives will always have a tremendous void without
our son and brother, so loved and treasured.

Love, Mom

Cailean started Kindergarten the day after we moved to Garrison. So many of his friendships blossomed in those early years. Cailean used to share with Brittany and I all of the silly and crazy things he and his friends would get themselves into. He loved to make people laugh.
I’ve been coming across pictures of him and his friends that I had and I will be posting them here.

For Cailean, On Behalf of Mariel

Last Night I laid down in bed, shut my eyes, and saw Cailean smile and I was finally able to breath again. Cailean’s smile was contagious and inspiring. He loved being with family and friends and everyone loved being around him.

He had an endless supply of talent. Cailean and I shared a love of nature and being outdoors. I taught him how to be a great frog catcher. He practiced and practiced and like the boys at the Manitoga Camp where I worked said– He was the Ultimate Catcher. Cailean would wake up early on his summer days to come to work with me. He was 11 and loved being a role model to all the boys there.

At the same age Cailean was enjoying another passion of his–tennis. Both of our parents passed on the love of this game to my brother, sister, and I. My dad would hit around with him and pass on his knowledge. Cailean took those lessons and ran with them. It wasn’t long before he was better than all of us and we were all trying to find a way to beat him.

Cailean’s passion for music encompassed his whole spirit. Growing up in a house of music, he learned to appreciate all of the different styles. He would go to Texas concerts with my parents and Dave Matthews with my sister and I. All of this music inspired him to be a great musician. The guitar, song-writing, and singing became his therapy in a world that presented a lot of challenges.

As Cailean got older and taller it became obvious he was going to excel at basketball. He would play with anyone, at any time and he always had the fire in his eyes that said, ?I am going to win.? He inherited the Celtic pride and he was a fighter.

Before Cailean was born, I always wanted a little sister because I didn’t know what a brother could be like. Over all the years, through all of the talent and knowledge he acquired I felt pride and joy that I only associate with one other person, my son. Cailean appreciated Dexter in a way that I never thought a teenage boy would be able to. It is now my purpose to teach Dexter about his amazing uncle and it is all of our jobs to remember Cailean Walker and help his spirit and passion for life and laughter to live on.

Being 8 ? years older than Cailean, I am fortunate to remember all the good times and the highlights of his life that you see in these pictures surrounding us. I can clearly remember the day he was born, his first day of school, and his first formal dance to name a few. Early on, I played the role of big sister but thankfully in the past ten years I was able to become much more than that as we built a special camaraderie. My sister and I had a close group of friends which Cailean naturally grew to be a part of. If we were going to the movies, it was known that Cailean was going too. If we were hanging out until 4 in the morning, so was he. I have many fond memories of the weeks he spent visiting with my sister and I in Boston. I was able to take him to some great concerts which I know he enjoyed immensely. I always got a kick out of him as we would leave a concert and he?d say, ?I?d think that was the best show I have ever seen.? I?ve told some of my close friends that Cailean is my favorite person in the world and it is devastating to know that he is now gone. I last spoke to Cailean on Tuesday night and asked him if he missed me to which he responded ?Yeah, I miss you a lot?. Now I just want to let my bud know that I miss him a lot too. I not only miss him as my brother but also as one of my best friends.

Cailean Walker Sheeran, student, talented musician, proud American and beloved family member, passed away on May 12, 2004. He is survived by his father John, mother Maureen, sisters Brittany and Mariel, nephew Dexter and dog Emma. He is further survived by his grandmothers Marie Miller and Jean Sheeran; aunts Claire Levin, Bernadette Miller, Carol Miller, Dolores Norton and Patricia Sheeran; uncles Dale Levin, Richard Miller and Peter Sheeran; cousins John Levin, Jennifer Miller, Pete Sheeran, Rebecca Stokes and Willem Van Bergen. He is preceded in death by his two grandfathers, Richard V. Miller and John D. Sheeran Sr. He also left behind many wonderful friends. Cailean would have been eighteen on June 20th and intended to graduate from James I. O?Neill High School in Highland Falls, NY and to continue his education in Boston, MA.

He was born in Manhattan and lived his early years in Jeffersonville, NY until he moved to Garrision, NY at the age of five. Through the years, Cailean adopted many nicknames including KK, Buddy, Cato and KayMan. Cailean had many interests including playing tennis and basketball and faithfully rooting for the Boston Celtics. His greatest pleasure and the interest that he took so much pride in, was his love of the guitar and song writing. He also enjoyed listening to music and attending concerts. Some of his favorite bands and artists included Dave Matthews Band, Coldplay and Mike Doughty of Soul Coughing.

If you wish you can make a donation in Cailean?s memory to one of the following:
1) Neurological Lyme Disease Research: please mail to:
NYS Psychiatric Institute
c/o Dr. Brian Fallon
1051 Riverside Drive Unit 69
New York, NY 10032.

The check should be made out to the Research Foundation for Mental Hygiene. In the lower left hand corner of the check, please indicate that the proceeds should be used for Neurological Lyme Disease research

2)Young Concert Artists Inc., an organization dedicated to discovering and launching the careers of extraordinary young musicians. For more information, please visit http://www.yca.org/.

Cailean was a loving, caring person with a contagious, mischievous smile and quirky sense of humor who will be missed tremendously. We ask that everyone that knew Cailean remember him fondly and smile when they think of ?Our Buddy? ? a unique and thoughtful young man. He was the best.