As I work on the therapeutic task of writing
hundreds of thank you notes, I find that I am
increasingly saddened by the fact that I did not
deliver a loving eulogy to Cailean at his funeral. At
that point I was not capable of expressing my feelings
in words. I?m quite sure that our beloved son and
brother heard the beautiful sentiments written by his
sisters, the musical tribute offered by his father,
and the heart-warming stories delivered by friends.
He must have been touched by the outpouring of love
from all those in attendance.

It gives us some solace to know that our son and
brother celebrated his short life to its fullest
before being struck with Neurological Lyme disease. We
have so many photographs and memories of the gentle,
sweet, and funny Cailean we all knew and loved so
much.

It is now time for me to communicate how valiantly
Cailean faced his horrendous illness. The last two
years of high school should be happy and hectic ones.
His peers experienced the normal joys and challenges
? dating, going to dances, proms and parties,
?hanging out? with friends, participating in sports,
driving, working, taking the SATS, conducting college
searches and making the final selection, and having
hopeful dreams for the future.

Sadly, that was not Cailean?s experience. He found
that he could not handle an academic setting and was
tutored at home as the disease took over his life. He
looked forward to going out with his friends, but
these events also became more and more stressful for
him as time progressed. He endured numerous doctor
visits, invasive procedures and taking many
medications, some with terrible side effects. Yet, he
rarely complained – even when a catheter line was
inserted into his arm and he had to have daily
intravenous infusions for over a month. Of course,
there were some very difficult and challenging days
that we faced as well. For the most part, though,
Cailean tolerated his condition and increasing
isolation. He had hopes of returning to school,
dating, driving, working, spending time with family
and friends, and eventually going off to college in
Massachusetts.

Alas, that was not to be. This posting has allowed me
to convey how noble Cailean was in the last months of
his life. It was an honor to be his mother and I will
always be so proud of how brave and wonderful he was.
They say that time heals. So far time has been
increasingly painful. Cailean is my first thought in
the morning, my last at night and most of the
countless moments in between. Family, friends and work
have helped distract us from our agony at times, but
our lives will always have a tremendous void without
our son and brother, so loved and treasured.

Love, Mom