I have not been able to decide when i wanted to write about Cailean. His June birthday and the two dates in May for the second anniversary of his passing and our newly annualized Boston memorial walk/ weekend all meld together . There simply are too many tragic ideas and feelings which pertain and overwhelm. The memorial walk/ weekend at least has the partial uplift of knowing that people felt compelled to attend and did so even though they lived in putnam county, n.y. and las vegas and manhattan and staten island and long island, etc. everything else is on the downslope.

I will end this message with a brief story which happened about 2 months ago. We went to Boston on the weekend that Mariel and Matt and Dexter moved to their new apartment in Watertown. Dexter and I went looking for a supermarket and walked about 8 or 10 extrememly cold blocks in the process. We went into a Middle Eastern bakery hoping to find something resembling Italian cookies. The place was rather large and had numerous aisles full of uninviting exotic foods but no Italian anything. Dexter kept running and laughing from aisle to aisle as I followed him while looking for something to buy. . At some point I realized that I did not know whether he had just made a right or a left turn. I began to run and as I did, I yelled out “Cailean, Cailean, where are you?”. As I rounded the corner, I saw Dexter. Sadly, my inadvertant call to the wrong boy symbolizes our ever- continuing search for someone who cannot be found by simply running or turning left or right or both. There is no aisle or bakery or cookies or Italian food or a walk to the store or any weekend whether in Boston or elsewhere that can be shared with Cailean. There is no one to run after. John/ Dad. 5/25/06.

I was lucky enough to be able to take the day off today and spend time at the park with Dexter. I couldn’t think of anything better to help me get through today. I try not to dread this day, but rather I make myself take a break from the daily grind and appreciate everything and everyone that I have. Cailean… wherever you are…I love and miss you.~Mariel

It is hard to believe that we have been without Cailean for two years now. There are no words which could describe the void that we feel ? some days are better than others and we can sometimes enjoy good times along with the tears. I belong to a bereavement group – the saddest one of all – one that only includes parents who have lost children. Sharing our grief, tears, stories, memories and, yes, even sometimes laughter, – our collective experiences have brought me to the conclusion that it is true what they say ? that God only chooses the most special children ? that those who have been taken away way too early were those who gave far beyond their years. Each, in his or her own way, was quite extraordinary and has left a remarkable legacy behind. Rather than focusing on what we have lost, I?m now trying to concentrate on the gift we were given for seventeen years and will forever honor the very special and noble person Cailean Walker Sheeran was.

May is, I have just discovered, Lyme Disease Awareness Month. We would appreciate it if everybody would use any and all possible situations to make others aware of how devastating this illness really is. We also hope to continue our public awareness efforts so that no other child or person has to endure the agony Cailean experienced.

?To live in the hearts of those you leave behind is never to die?. The validity of this quotation was evidenced last Saturday when fifty people and one dog came by train, plane, automobile, and boat to participate in the NAMI Walk up in Boston. They came for Cailean? they came to honor him ?and I firmly believe that Cailean was also there in spirit. We know that there are many, many others who would have joined us, if at all possible. As I have said in the past, ?What Cailean meant to you, you meant to him?. Thank you all for continuing to honor his memory. The grace of family and friends has certainly helped us and we continue to be ever grateful.

Maureen Sheeran

Hi Mariel,

What a day Saturday! I just wanted to extend a huge thank you for all that you and your family have done for the Walk. I can only imagine what the day means for you and your family. We appreciate your support and hope you can find support in the Walk and in NAMI. You all are amazing, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, and let us know if we can help in any way. Hope to see you in 2007!

Thanks again and take care,
Stephany

Stephany Melton
Director of Affiliate Development
National Alliance on Mental Illness of Massachusetts (NAMI-MA)
400 West Cummings Park Suite 6650
Woburn, MA 01801
781-938-4048
smelton@nami.org

Below’s a message from my father expressing our gratitude to everyone
involved in walking and supporting our team for this year’s NAMI walk.
Everyone worked very hard and it all paid off. NAMI is a wonderful
organization and they were so happy to see our team participate again.
Our team raised over $3300 and had 50 walkers. All the funds and public
awareness raised will help NAMI achieve their goals to fight the stigma
that surrounds mental illness, to build awareness of the fact that the
mental health system in this country needs to be improved and to raise
funds for NAMI so that they can continue their mission.

Cailean struggled and fought so hard. His days were not easy; getting
throught the teenage years is a hard enough task and I get overwhelmed
trying to imagine everything else he had to endure. His illness was
very isolating and often made it difficult for him to see that people
were standing by him trying to find ways to help. It was so nice to
see all of his friends and family get together this weekend. Cailean
had a great sense of humor and loved to joke around, but he was always a
very sensitive, sincere, and compassionate person. I know he would be
touched to see this year’s team. The day that I gave birth to Dexter he
told me he was proud of me and it meant so much. Even 2 years after his
death I find myself being prouder and prouder of him. I am so proud to
say that he is my brother and that his life, and now death have impacted
so many people.

Thank you for all of your support.
Love,Mariel

MAUREEN AND I AND MARIEL AND BRITTANY WANT TO THANK YOU FOR DEVOTING
YOUR TIME AND EFFORTS TO BE WITH US THIS PAST WEEKEND. OUR MEMORIAL FOR
CAILEAN IS OUR WAY OF DECLARING TO THE WORLD HOW WONDERFUL A PERSON,SON,
BROTHER AND FRIEND HE WAS AND STILL IS.

I SINCERELY HOPE THAT WE CAN SEE YOU AGAIN NEXT YEAR ON THE FRIDAY NIGHT
AT FRANCO’S AS WE FURTHER IMPROVE OUR KAOROKE AND BILLIARDS SKILLS IN
THE MIDST OF THE RED SOX NATION. JOHN. 212 551 0793 P.S. PLEASE
FORWARD THIS TO ANYONE I MISSED.