well Cailean, it’s now four years since you left us as your mother and father and sisters continue to experience the many facets of your ever resounding absence; the answer to the old rhetorical question ” but who’s counting?” is quite simply “we are, every day and week and month and year”…..
which is not to overlook another form of math: THE INCREASING LIST OF THE MANY THINGS THAT NEVER WILL BE versus THE LIST OF MANY THINGS THAT NEVER WILL OCCUR AGAIN. regardless, you continue to reside at the center of our everyday lives.
I heard a song on the radio the other day by Marc Cohn entitled ” Let me be your witness” which seemed to evoke the many ways in which you remain with us. Brittany and Mariel are your witness as they remember what it was like to have a brother who was so loyal and endearing. your mother is your witness as she remembers what is was like to always have a reason to give her love and support. Emma is your witness as she lays her head on the sofa in the tv room exactly on the spot where you used to do the same. your father is your witness as he now sits at the computer watching Celtic games on the tv while simultaneously checking the play by play stats on Yahoo sports for the game just like you did. and in the background, we can hear you endlessly playing that blues riff on the guitar as we all sit together.
this weekend, your friends and family will once again meet in Boston for another memorial walk as we honor your memory. which brings me to another song I just heard on the radio which was written and sung by Julie Gold. the song is entitled “Heaven” and it includes the oft repeated refrain ” I think I’ll go to heaven… heaven is in your eyes.” so very true Buddy every time we see your picture. thanks for being our son and brother. love, Dad. 5/28/08

Four years, and counting. I can remember exactly how my May 12th played out in 2004. I remember that it was a beautiful day in Boston. I was wrapping up classes at Northeastern and thought that hopefully Cailean was sitting outside enjoying the day as well. I went to bed unusually early that night, even by my standards. And most of all, I remember Matt waking me up in a gentle voice and knowing immediately what happened.

I hope this May 12th finds all of his friends and family at a happy and healthy place in life. He would’ve wanted nothing less…
Rest in peace, Cailean.